Seriously, The Onion is hilarious.
I was on there today, doing work-related web-based research, and their front page story was headlined: "American Airlines now charging fees to non-passengers." Which, incidentally, is an issue that was briefly covered earlier on this prestigious blog.
Check it out if you have the time (i.e. are at work), otherwise, here are my favorite excerpts:
Cash-strapped American Airlines announced a new series of fees this week that will apply to all customers not currently flying, scheduled to fly, or even thinking about flying aboard the commercial carrier.
According to company officials, these charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline.
Some additional charges would also apply, including a $15 fee for every piece of luggage customers have inside their bedroom closet, and a one-time payment of $40 for any American whose name is Greg."American Airlines charged me for cleaning out my attic," said 74-year-old Samantha Pratt, a New Jersey resident who has not left the state since 2005.
Some have even expressed doubt about whether they'll be able to afford to see family members they currently live with during Christmas. "It's just not worth it anymore," said Caroline Huza, an Ohio native and mother of two. "Plus, every time I stay at home, I always get trapped next to some kid who won't stop crying."