Monday, September 8, 2008

Sad, but probably true...

I stumbled across this during some web-based research I was conducting today:Frankly, this fee-for-everything silliness in air travel has gotten out of control. I understand that the costs of operating an airline have been hurt by high fuel prices - but gouging customers does not seem like the proper response.

Then again, a certain amount of flight activity is inelastic, so maybe airlines do not fear a huge repercussion from their actions. It's not like a New Yorker who has an urgent meeting in Washington DC - like this New Yorker - can drive down there and be rested for the meeting. That person is going to have to fly, fees or no fees. What percentage of the market, then, might the airlines be alienating with these fees? I dunno. I'm asking you.

In light of this, here is my Top Five List* of other fees airlines might consider:

  1. Seat belt fee - you gotta buckle up after all, the Captain said so.
  2. Deplaning fee - how else are you going to get off the plane - jumping?
  3. Reading light fee - Note to self: talk to National Grid.
  4. Armrest fee - no more uncomfortable elbow touching with strangers.
  5. Overhead compartment property tax - a tax on the overhead "property" where you store your carry-on.

Not gonna lie - the overhead compartment property taxes will probably not be very successful because a certain governor and his allies will probably try to cap them at the lesser of 4 percent or 120 percent of the CPI.

*This was going to be a "Top Ten" list, but my attorneys advised me that doing so could lead to legal action against Airplanes I Have Known by David Letterman's production company for copyright infringement. Thanks, thanks a lot, Dave.

1 comment:

Luciana said...

there should also be a potty fee... i mean, come on, have you tried airplane lasagna?? they should bank on that, it's like a million dollar deal ;)