Disappointing

Making this very glamorous list of the "Lamest Blogs" was a goal I set when I started this forum. Apparently, I was not lame enough. But, fear not, I am working on being lamer than ever in the coming year.

Me for NY

Once the nomination of Senator Clinton for Secretary of State became official, the big name pols no doubt started working the phones to jockey for position to be appointed to the open seat. And whoever ends up appointed will have the dubious distinction of being the unelected Senator appointed by the unelected Governor. In the increasingly dark blue New York, however, an open Senate seat is as close to the holy grail as you can come for a Democrat.

While the speculation has focused on, you know, elected officials, I would like to highlight here today a dark-horse candidate for the position: me.

The selection of myself, whose electoral history includes an unsuccessful run for the Washington Park Condo Board of Managers, would throw the entire system into shock. But in an already historic election season, why not continue making history by appointing the most unprepared Senator ever.

It is clear that there is some sort of constituency for people like myself serving in office. How else can one explain the continued/annoying media fascination with morons like Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber? But in addition to shoring up the average idiot vote, I would also draw in the coveted Latino, birdwatcher, hockey player, and Seinfeld enthusiast voting blocs.

And consider the lack of Hispanic diversity in the Senate. With the already announced retirement of Senator Mel Martinez from Florida, the Senate Spanish Speaking and Soccer Watching Caucus will lose a third of its membership in 2010. Who will laugh at Ken Salazar Mexican jokes when Mel is gone? Nobody, that's who. Okay, maybe Bob Menendez will, but you get the point.
I bet state Senator Carl Kruger agrees with me on this point. Nobody is a bigger advocate of Hispanic and Latino issues that Carl Kruger. Yup, that's Carl Kruger, whose family name was originally Krugeriguez or Krugercia (can't remember which), but was shortened when they immigrated from El Salvador. I understand that you may be uncommitted to my candidacy at this point, given the fact that my historic selection as the most unprepared Senator is not convincing to you. Allow me a few moments to clarify some of my agenda should I have the extreme pleasure of serving the Empire State in the greatest deliberative body in the world.

1. Enact a National Bigger Better Bottle Bill.
2. Require all airports to provide insulated and heated viewing facilities for plane enthusiasts.
3. Deport Dean Skelos.
4. Sponsor renewable public transportation by strapping rickshaws to the homeless in NYC.
5. Mandate Green Bags for every student and professional in the US who takes their lunch to work, and impose $250,000 fines for violations.

If you are convinced, write a letter to the Governor encouraging my candidacy. New York will be better for it - or worse, can't really tell at this point.

Leave Snarlin' Arlen alone

Chris Matthews, host of Hardball, is believed to be eyeing a US Senate run from Pennsylvania in 2010 against "Snarlin' Arlen" Specter, a moderate Republican. If the hype turns into an actual run by Matthews, whom I consider to be a decent TV host, but a flaming partisan at best, then you will no doubt find my name among Mr. Specter's donors. And I will probably be back in Scranton knocking on doors.

It would not be because I am a Republican - I am not, far from it, actually. But Arlen Specter represents everything that is right with the GOP. And these days, it is not very easy to point to much that is right with the Republicans.

A loss by Specter, who, by all accounts, has been an effective and respectable Senator, would be one more nail in the coffin of the mainstream Republican Party. And even your typical San Francisco liberal would suffer as a result because such a loss would embolden the extreme right wing of the GOP even more.

I will let you in on a secret. Whenever I see a Republican in the Specter mold have to fend of repeated challenges to his right, as Arlen has every six years since 1980, it tells me that he must be doing something right. Look, Republicans are going to be elected in this country - that will never change. If that is going to be the case, then I would want to know that the Republicans we get will be more like Snarlin' Arlen and less like Billo the Clown.

St. Maarten who?

Last night was another glorious installment of Hockey Night in Colonie. The Black Team was once again victorious, this time by a 4-1 margin. Yours truly once again found his way into the scoresheet, with 1 goal and 1 assist, and an impressive +3 on the night. I should add that I think the +/- statistic is bogus. The White Team scored right as I was coming off the ice on a line change. For those of you interested, I was also +3 on the number of falls last night.

Then, after retreating to the countryside to recuperate, we headed back to the city by way of Albany-Shaker Road, which at one point winds beneath the short finals zone for Runway 1 at Albany International.

And wouldn't you know it, right as we were driving by the end of the runway, a US Airways 737, which I later learned was arriving from Reagan, was on short finals and passed directly overhead of my Subaru. I suspected something was up when I saw another US Airways airplane (this one an E190) holding short of the runway.

I do not have pictoral evidence of this event, but would I make something like that up? I think not.

The most glorious part of all this was the fog trail left behind by the wings which was being illuminated by the runway lights. This all led me to ponder that if the end of Runway 1 was about 70 degrees warmer and more plane-watcher friendly (i.e. not transversed by a four-lane road and instead led into the Caribbean), it wouldn't be all that different from the famous Runway 10 in St. Maarten.

Did I just really propose Albany = St. Maarten? Oh, New England late fall, your eternal cloudiness has already gotten to me.

A sign of fees to come?

Seriously, The Onion is hilarious.

I was on there today, doing work-related web-based research, and their front page story was headlined: "American Airlines now charging fees to non-passengers." Which, incidentally, is an issue that was briefly covered earlier on this prestigious blog.
Check it out if you have the time (i.e. are at work), otherwise, here are my favorite excerpts:

Cash-strapped American Airlines announced a new series of fees this week that will apply to all customers not currently flying, scheduled to fly, or even thinking about flying aboard the commercial carrier.

According to company officials, these charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline.

Some additional charges would also apply, including a $15 fee for every piece of luggage customers have inside their bedroom closet, and a one-time payment of $40 for any American whose name is Greg."American Airlines charged me for cleaning out my attic," said 74-year-old Samantha Pratt, a New Jersey resident who has not left the state since 2005.

Some have even expressed doubt about whether they'll be able to afford to see family members they currently live with during Christmas. "It's just not worth it anymore," said Caroline Huza, an Ohio native and mother of two. "Plus, every time I stay at home, I always get trapped next to some kid who won't stop crying."

Who is Sparticus?

Do you remember writing your college entrance essay?

For me, it was a horrifying experience because it felt like the whole objective of it was to glorify yourself in 400 words. "Oh, look at me. I'm so wonderful, I worked in a soup kitchen, and I tutored Cambodian immigrants, and I shoveled sidewalks for the elderly." Those people should add: "Never mind that I did all that stuff just so that I could get into your prestigious university and will probably never do any of it ever again."

So, perhaps I should give this disclaimer. This is not about telling you why I'm so wonderful and terrific and why you should care about this blog. I went to the "bad" high school in town, I went to state school for undergrad and graduate school, and I am a proverbial state worker. Clearly, there are a lot of people ahead of me in the worthiness totem-pole.

Please, read this post instead as if you are reading the weather forecast - it's simply for your information.

I am the first-born child, and as such I never let my little sister forget that. As a baby, my doctor once called me tyrannical because even as a months-old baby I would terrorize my parents by crying at night until they carried me from the crib into their bed.

Oh, did I mention that ages 0-7 occurred in Argentina? Yes, I am from the South, deep South. I was born in Godoy Cruz, Province of Mendoza, in the Republic of Argentina. My extended family is still there, with branches scattered in Spain and Australia.

I grew up in Fort Collins. I did not like it there until I left it. That is where my mother and sister still live.

My parents divorced three days before my 10th birthday.

The single most difficult moment in my life was that call from my mother at 11:45pm on April 15th.

I still have not fully recovered from that - and I'm not ready to write about it either.

When I graduated in May with my Masters degree, I became the second person in my entire family with a graduate degree.

Now, I am a part of New York's dysfunction.

When I came to the Northeast in 2006, I could not wait to leave. Now, because of her, I cannot stand to be away.

New Rule: First Class eligibility

The Capital Region's own A.K. is on her way to the West Coast. I do not know the reason for the trip, but seeing as how it is around Thanksgiving, I am assuming that may have something to do with it.

Based on anonymous sources and web-based research, A.K. was probably on this flight from Albany to Cleveland early this morning. Notice how the flight path cleverly avoided all that mucky weather in Western New York. Well done, pilots.

And now, she is over the midwest on her way to LAX.

And as she waited for her flight to depart, the A.K. checked in with some thoughts on her travel so far. She reported a situation that frequent air travelers have no doubt encountered but have resisted from commenting on due to the sensitivity of the issue. As the premier airplane and airplane accessory commentator in the Greater Washington Park Area, I have no qualms about tackling the controversial issues and I will say what you all have been thinking.

In a tribute to Bill Maher, I will do in the format of a...

New Rule: You cannot fly first class unless you are old enough to appreciate it.

Not only is it a waste of money to do so, but it's cruel to all the other passengers, like the A.K., who have to parade past 7-year olds in first class on the way to their cramped seats in the back of the plane. What's the point of unlimited legroom if your legs can't even reach the floor?

I'm conflicted about my own mother in first class because I don't think she could reach the floor either. But, that's an issue for another day.

For the record, I am not anti-kid or anti-short people. I was a camp counselor for 6 years (here and here) and I probably would still be one if I didn't, you know, have a mortgage. I just happen to think that a 7-year old in a recliner-size first class seat is a misappropriation of valuable cabin space.

Perhaps the problem is not who is in the first class seat, but the existence of the first class seat in the first place. Let's face it, the class system in airplanes simply perpetuates the divisions between the haves and the have-nots in our society. Isn't it good enough to be better and wealthier than everybody else on the ground? And is the curtain really necessary? Are you all afraid that you're going to catch the "middle-class disease" from us? I hear it's going around.