"My wife has an inner ear infection"

Last night was the much anticipated Romanda Extravaganza - the wedding of two good friends of Diane and mine. If you follow this blog, then you have certainly seen and heard of the bride and groom - they are, for example, our Scituate traveling companions. The wedding itself has been in the works for just over a year, but the newly married couple has been together for about five years now. Diane and I played somewhat critical roles in the festivities last night - she was co-MOH and I was best man.

This was the third wedding I had been to as an "adult" - and the other two were relatively small affairs, none with the scope of this one. As such, I was pretty nervous about the best man toast for about two weeks leading up to the wedding, and certainly all of yesterday. My coworkers were kind enough to listen and read various iterations of my speech - which helped out a great deal because it was certainly not easy to write the speech.

You see, the groom and I share very strange obsessions that don't translate well to a mass audience. So, while the speech had to be about us, it also had to be written in a way that people would actually be able to understand it and perhaps get a laugh out of if.

I think for the most part, the mission was accomplished. My prepared speech was about 5 minutes long but when I started to give it I followed the cues from the crowd and since I could tell I was on a roll, I pulled a Jerry and ended on a high note.

For the benefit of the people that put with me during the entire process I will post the entire piece here because this is what I would have said in full to the bride and groom. I would have delivered the speech in full had it not been, like I said above, for the crowd factor. I suppose if you have done one of these or do public speaking regularly, then you probably know what I mean. In any case, here are my unabridged remarks:

Good evening.

I’m Nicolas, Roman’s best man. I met Roman about two years ago. Amanda and my girlfriend, Allison, the maid of honor, are high school friends, and it was
through them that Roman and I met and became, as Amanda likes to say, two peas in a pod. So I do not have any embarrassing stories from Roman’s childhood
or college years to share – which, now that I think of it, may have something to
do with why Roman chose me to do this speech.

Before I get into my remarks, a few thank yous are in order. To the parents of the newlyweds, Linda and Robert and Barbara and Walter, thank you and congratulations. Secondly, to all the bridesmaids, you have done a magnificent job helping the bride in the last year and you all look amazing. You are only outshined by the lovely bride, Amanda, who looks absolutely stunning – as opposed to Roman who just looks stunned. To the groomsmen – gentlemen, I don’t believe a
finer group has ever been assembled. Finally, on behalf of the newlyweds, I want to thank you all for coming – I am always amazed at how far people will travel for free food and an open bar.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am making this speech today at a significant handicap. Unlike all of you, I am sober. So I am going to follow some excellent advice I
received: stand up, speak up, and shut up.

Over the last two years, Roman has become a very dear friend to me. And I was honored when Roman asked me to be his best man. If you have seen us together, you would almost assume that we have known each other our whole life - that's how close we have become. Part of the reason we got along so well so quickly was because we share the same strange obsession with minor league players in the Houston Astros system, baseball umpires, Seinfeld, Jamie Seyh the Channel 10
sports girl – who sadly could not be here today, counties, New Jersey and towns
in Long Island. I believe that is probably the first time any of those words have been said in a best man speech.

They say that it is inevitable that at some point everybody meets their other half. The person that brings out their very best. Their true love, their destiny, the one person who without a spoken word knows exactly what is on your mind. There is somebody out there that you simply cannot live without, a person whose presence completes you. Roman, you are very lucky, because I believe you have found that person. And that person is me.

In fact, I remember the night I knew it was getting serious between me and Roman. We were in Scituate, at Amanda’s grandparent’s house, sleeping side by side on an air mattress. We stayed up late into the night naming baseball umpires. Joe West, Ed Rapuano, Dana Demuth. I knew then that he was a keeper. You all might understand why this speech was so difficult – our interests don’t really translate well to a mass audience. But when you know Roman like I do, you know that he wakes up each morning and kisses the ground that he does not live in Broome county, he prefers the Wendelstedt Umpire Academy, and that once we jointly named 57 of the 62 counties in New York while sitting at a Valley Cats baseball game. He is quite a catch, as you can see. Hold on to this one, Amanda.

Looking at you two stand together today simply reinforced to me, and I’m sure all of us gathered here today, how great you two are together. Roman, have found your complement in Amanda, besides the fact that she’s a Yankees fan – but that’s not a deal-breaker, I suppose. There are many mixed marriages like that in this area. I consider myself luckier than most best men because I am not just up here as the friend of the groom, but also as a friend of the bride. Amanda, you have become an equally important part of my life in Albany. I treasure your friendship as much as I do Roman’s. You certainly deserve a good husband. Since I am already in a relationship I guess Roman will have to do.

I know Amanda to be an incredibly hard working person – I think it is so admirable that Amanda recently became a teacher and works with high-risk
students. I also know Amanda to be a very caring person – she took care of
Roman this summer after he took in a little too much sun in Scituate and rubbed
aloe all over his body – that’s a lot of surface area, people.

On a more serious note, I am speaking here today as a friend of the couple, so I would like to say a few thoughts about friendship and marriage. If you listen to couples who have been married for decades, you often hear them describe their partner as their best friend. If friendship is what makes a successful marriage, then that bodes incredibly well for both of you. You make a beautiful couple. And I think you are both lucky to be coming home to such a great partner from this day forward.

Ladies and gentlemen, I had the honor to stand beside my two good friends today as they made the most sacred of oaths to each other. Please join me in wishing them all the love and happiness a couple can have.

To Amanda and Roman.

The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was very entertaining. They had a band and the food was terrific. The newlyweds will soon be off on their honeymoon and I will be taking care of Cos - their cat.

The groom got the members of the wedding party (pictured below) cufflinks with the logo of their favorite sports team. I was the recipient of Colorado State cufflinks, and they are really sharp.

Happy 60th MK

Yesterday was Mark Knopfler's 60th birthday. It's one of the few non-family, non-acquaintance birthdays that I celebrate.For those of you who don't know who he is, first of all, shame on you, and second of all, he is, in my humble opinion, the greatest guitar player. Ever. And that's a fact - not my opinion.

Mark is now a solo artist, but he is well known as (1) the lead singer/heart, blood and soul of Dire Straits and (2) the composer of the Princess Bride soundtrack.

I saw MK live at Red Rocks in 2000 during the Sailing to Philadelphia tour. Dire Straits was no longer together back then, but he still performed some of their classics. He started the concert with Calling Elvis, moved to Walk of Life, and in between did Sultans of Swing, which is my favorite song of theirs - and by extension the best rock song and guitar work in the history of mankind. Again, I'm stating fact not opinion here.

They did not perform the sometimes-controversial Money for Nothing, which I was a bit disappointed by. Little known fact: the music video for that song was one of the first to use computer animation and was the first video played on MTV-Europe.When I was younger, I was obsessed with Dire Straits - it was pretty much all I listened to. The first two CD's of theirs that I got, Money for Nothing and On Every Street, did not have any pictures of the band, so for a long time my main mission in life was to find out what exactly this Mark Knopfler character looked like. The first time I saw the MK was precisely in that Money for Nothing music video and my life was complete. After that I got my hands on the Live at the BBC CD and On the Night, both of which are full of pictures of the band. So every time I see MK, my heart smiles a little.

Northwest Mass. billboard

On our drive back from Camp Taconic last night, Diane spotted this billboard outside of Pittsfield.

It was late and after trying a few times to get a decent shot, this was the best I could do. The billboard shows a shot of passengers standing on the wings of the infamous USAirways A320 that crashed into the Hudson River, with the following caption: Cool under pressure. Preparation. Pass it on.

Of Scituate and thereabouts

In what I hope becomes an annual tradition, we once again celebrated America's birthday in Scituate, MA, which is fast becoming one of my preferred hang outs on the East Coast. We once again were very generously hosted by AK's grandparents.

Luckily, we got some good beach weather this year. Last year we were in Scituate on a fairly overcast and somewhat cold weekend. This year was a much different story. The weather was great - too great actually. A couple of us ended up with some pretty painful sunburns, and as of a couple of days ago, I was still peeling from the after-effects.

Just like last year's trip, we ate chilli on the first night and grilled on the second night. And, of course, we were treated both nights to an impressive display of flights in and out of Logan, like this British Airways Boeing 747 making a slow approach overhead.

The AK took us to a new beach this time, and although I may be biased because the weather was so much better this year, I liked this one much more than last year's beach. The day started off with myself and Ty Willingham losing a whiffle ball ala Wilson from Cast Away. Then ADB spotted either a dead jellyfish or a lost boob implant on the beach - we think it was a jellyfish, but we are not 100% sure.

Then there was the mandatory game of catch on the beach.

And lots and lots of swimming.

I even set aside time to talk local government with Berta, who is a legendary former member of the Town Planning Board. I think they should name a school after him.

You're the man Super Joe

The summer of 1996 was Villi Fuscillo - huuuuuuuge, Capital District, huuuuuuuge.

That was the summer of the Colorado Avalanche's first run to the Stanley Cup Championship, which culminated in a 4-game sweep of the Florida Panthers. Uwe Krupp's triple-OT goal gave the Avs a 1-0 victory and brought the first major championship to Colorado.

We had only recently moved to our first house, on Kodiak Road, the previous summer, and I remember watching the championship-clinching game downstairs by myself. The Avs had recently moved themselves, having relocated from Quebec, where they were known as the Nordiques.

The excitement of the playoff run that summer, which was marked by a huge 4-2 upset against the hated Red Wings in the Conference Finals, is the reason that I got into hockey.

Joe Sakic, who has been the Captain of the Avalanche the entire time they have been in Denver, retired yesterday. He was the face of the franchise back in 1996, and he continued to be our fearless leader through last season.
Super Joe is the Tim Eastman of hockey - he's just a good guy. He never showed up in the paper for having had an altercation in a bar, DUI, or sleeping around. Although he had opportunities to leave the Avs for more money elsewhere, he chose to stay. And he stuck it out during a couple of rebuilding years with the Avs.What I will always - always - remember Super Joe for is the moment he received the Stanley Cup from the Commissioner in 2001 after the Avs had just won it for a second time. That championship team was special because Ray Bourque was on it - the hockey legend who had never been on a championship team in his 20-year career.

As Captain of the team, Sakic was required to receive the Cup from the Commissioner, but as soon as he received it, he passed it to Bourque who was the first player on the team to hoist it. I don't think I have witnessed a more self-less act than that in sports.

Hopefully, hockey fans will get one more shot to see Super Joe in action. The 2010 Olympics will be in Vancouver, his home town, and Super Joe may play on the Canadian team.

Delays at JFK caused by...turtles?!?!

On Wednesday, air traffic at JFK was delayed for over an hour due to "runway contamination." Turtles in search of breeding grounds overran the tarmac and a runway causing flights, which required Port Authority workers to scoop them up in a truck and transport them away.
JFK is of course surrounded by the ocean and all other sorts of marshy grounds, so it's not entirely surprising that this occurred. New York City's other airport, located on the north side of Queens County, also had a man v. nature event earlier this year, as I'm sure you all remember. A US Airways Airbus struck two geese on takeoff and ended up in the Hudson River. Consequently, the City recently began taking out these dangerous beasts.

This follows another nature-related delay at Petco Park in San Diego. Last week, a game there was delayed due to an influx of bees.

Mother nature is pissed.

New Color-Scheme tournament post

I have spent the better part of the last few days working on the European color scheme bracket. Since the post goes up from the moment that the draft was begun, the post reflects the date and time it was started, not when it was finished.

If you are interested in seeing who has the best color-scheme among flag carriers in Europe, click here. Or, alternatively, scroll down past the Governor Sanford post.